It’s Not Your Ego; It’s your Pride
Maybe a technicality, but for me, our ‘ego’ is what allows awareness of how we fit. Our Pride is what makes us want to fit. It’s our fragile pride that gets offended when others think differently or challenge us.
Fear of Failure
It’s the most overrated fear there is!
“Fear of Success” is just a bullshit excuse without hesitation. If you’re scared of success, admit you’re aiming for mediocrity. If business becomes challenging while you’re aiming for mediocrity, then go work for someone.
If that sound harsh, stay ‘happy’ being overworked and underpaid in the freedom you have. Alternatively, you can admit that you do want to succeed and will be proud to do so.
Is Your Pride Costing You?
- Do you do a professional job for your clients?
- Do you have clients that tell you and others that you do great work?
- Are you happy to tell everyone how great you and your work is?
- Are you doing everything you can to let the world know how great your service is?
- If not have you created a marketing strategy to tell everyone you can?
If the answer to all of the above is YES… Stop wasting your time reading this and go and get more clients to help.
If you answered NO to any other than question 4, your pride is getting in the way.
Ego Is Not a Dirty Word
Growing up as a child of the 70’s I loves Skyhooks… I still do, something about the simplicity of the lifestyle. One of their biggest hits of course was, Ego is Not a Dirty Word, and I still love it to this day, although I never really quite understood where it was going.
If I did not have an ego I would not be here tonight
If I did not have an ego, I might not think that I was right
If you did not have an ego, you might not care the way you dressed
If you did not have an ego, you’d just be like the rest
Being simple, I needed it spelled out if I wanted to get the message in less than about 40 years of singing along. Here’s the message that I missed… Ego isn’t the problem. Pride and arrogance are the problems.
Arrogance, that’s obvious enough, so let’s not discuss that here but let’s explore Pride.
We should be proud of what we do. It’s an acknowledgment that what we do is quality workmanship. Being proud of that is the right thing… that’s Ego. It’s awareness, realistic appreciation of how things fit.
However, when we yearn for social admiration and drift into neediness, that’s the dark side of pride. Late last year I wrote a book, Finding Your Business Mojo, it’s about building confidence in yourself, your leadership and your business. Post the Launch party, although feedback was great, I’ve done little to promote this book.
Impostor Syndrome, fear of criticism, etc. Whatever, it’s all about pride and not wanting to be judged. I realised this the other day, and stuff it… If you want a copy of the book, ask me for one. I’m happy to share it for free, come and collect it or pay for postage and the first 12 people can have a copy.
I’m over it. My pride was in the way, not my ego. I was scared of someone disagreeing with me, telling me… Whatever, however, I’ve decided not to care what anyone thinks. I’m still happy for feedback, good and constructive but I no longer am scared of it. I’ve let go of the fear; you can’t please all the people all the time.
Simply put, After all the efforts of writing the book and documenting a strategy that was working so well for clients, I almost hid it under the bed.
It wasn’t fear of failure or success; it was fear of being criticised.
Success is in the Momentum Business
An overnight sensation, instant success, get rich quick… These all belong in the same tabloid. The truth is, very few people win the lottery, hit on an idea and have a river of gold instantly.
Create and refine the idea, build a clear strategy, then with execution you need to analyse performance and keep improving as you go. More clients often lead to more opportunities, your clients speak to others about what you do, and they join in.
Likewise, losing momentum will create a challenge of trying to get it back. Like the laws of physics, you need to arrest the slowing and turn it back around. Here is where once again you need to put your pride aside and make the adjustments needed to do so. Take the feedback and move forward. Being stuck in complaining about “my clients just don’t get it” won’t get you any more clients. Whenever I’ve felt like that, I’ve later realised, “I didn’t get them”.
We solve a problem or have no business. It’s that simple. When we stop solving the client’s problem, our clients simply don’t need us. They’ll move on and find someone else to solve the problem or simply move on.
Wrapping it Up
Challenges to our pride is a lack of ego. A lack of self-awareness. It lowers our emotional intelligence, how effectively we communicate with others and definitely how well we attract others who may want to work with us.
The 5 Things to Consider:
- Avoiding criticism or Feedback (it’s not fear of failure or success)
- Ego is not a Dirty word; our ego is an awareness of our surroundings and how we fit in, nothing more
- Pride is great when used to improve, but misplaced pride is arrogance
- Success isn’t instant; it’s not for the lucky, it’s earned through applying a strategic approach to solving a problem people know they have
- Listen to your clients and prospects. They don’t need to get you; they need to know that you get them
Having an appreciation of the difference between our ego and our pride and the awareness to listen and respond instead of getting caught defending our status quo is what separates the highly emotionally intelligent from those that continue to justify a superseded mode of operating.
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